Mama, I'm comin' home

Never really read the lyrics to this song, so I now realize how terribly twisted it is. Anywho, here it is for you, by the great Ozzy Osbourne.

To all my friends in Athens, I'm comin' home.

"Times have changed and times are strange
Here I come, but I aint the same
Mama, I'm coming home
Times gone by seem to be
You could have been a better friend to me
Mama, I'm coming home

You took me in and you drove me out
Yeah, you had me hypnotized
Lost and found and turned aroound
By the fire in your eyes

You made me cry, you told me lies
But I cant stand to say goodbye
Mama, I'm coming home
I could be right, I could be wrong
Hurts so bad, its been so long
Mama, I'm coming home

Selfish love yeah were both alone
The ride before the fall
But I'm gonna take this heart of stone
I just got to have it all

Ive seen your face a hundred times
Everyday weve been apart
I dont care about the sunshine, yeah
cause mama, mama, I'm coming home
I'm coming home

You took me in and you drove me out
Yeah, you had me hypnotized
Lost and found and turned around
By the fire in your eyes."

Oh, but it gets better!

Haha oh man...

God. Have. Mercy.

Just venting

Thoughts on life:

Sometimes I hate being a journalist. And now I hate architects (forgive me, Mom; I strongly dislike architects.)

I've spent this summer completing an internship in Chicago, writing for an architecture magazine. Prior to this summer, I didn't know anything about the industry; everything I wrote was a new learning process. Over the course of the last 10 weeks, I've learned plenty (know the difference between an open plenum ceiling and a suspended one? I do), but maybe the most important thing I've learned is that I do not like this industry. And I do not like architects.

The big reason I do not like this industry is that the finer details - which are the details I write about - are just not interesting to me. There is a lot about architecture that is very interesting, and I've had the pleasure of learning all about Chicago architecture in particular. But the little stuff (ceiling systems, glass use, heating/ventilation systems, etc.) is just not that exciting. So I get bored - and distracted - easily.

As for architects, maybe I've just had bad experiences. Either way, every time I've encountered an architect this summer, they seem to look down their nose at me. They think they're something special because they're designing these multi-million-dollar skyscrapers, and apparently I'm nothing but a measly journalist with nothing better to do than to write about what they're doing.

The breaking point was yesterday. I had an interview with two architects that was awkward and embarrassing. The architects acted so perturbed that they had to waste their time with me, and they were so pompous. They made me feel so small, so inferior. And I hated it. Every second of it.

Well I have news for you, architects: I don't give a rat's patoot about what you do. I don't care how many skyscrapers you've designed. You're nothing to me but another Joe Schmo. All I ask is that you look at me the same.

This, on a broader aspect, is the big thing I hate about journalism. There have been so many times that subjects of mine have made me feel like so much less than them. They make me feel so worthless, as if I'm nothing more than an annoying little bug worshipping the ground they walk on by publishing a story on them. I am a waste of their time.

I hate feeling worthless.

I know that part me is just stressing about finding a job that I like and all, but it's legitimately scary that what I want to be when I grow up sometimes makes me feel so...sad. I see a lot of other journalists, and I see that they've just formed a shell to this sort of stuff. They play the role of bully or lapdog and they get the story they need, no big deal.

I don't like being a bully or a lapdog.

Sorry to vent, but this is stressing me out today. And I don't like to stress.

(How I) celebrate our world

Upon reading over my last post, I guess I should probably clarify in case someone finds it insensitive...

I'm not trying to say that nobody can worship to 'Christian music.' And I'm not trying to say that I've never worshiped to 'Christian music.' AND I'm not trying to say that 'secular music' is always healthy and worshipful. I'm just saying that I usually find God more often in music that is not necessarily considered 'Christian.' That's just how I roll. I'm not trying to say it's fact that 'secular music' is more worshipful than 'Christian music,' I'm just saying that more often than not I turn to certain 'secular music' to connect me more fully with God.

Here are lyrics to another Sufjan Stevens song - in fact, if someone were to ask me what my favorite song were, I'd say it's this one. It's another song that I can find God in, full of hope and beauty.

"I have called you children, I have called you son.
What is there to answer if I'm the only one?
Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light.
Still I must obey, still I must invite.
If there's anything to say,
if there's anything to do,
If there's any other way,
I'll do anything for you.

I was dressed embarrassment.
I was dressed in wine.
If you had a part of me, will you take you're time?
Even if I come back, even if I die
Is there some idea to replace my life?
Like a father to impress;
Like a mother's mourning dress,
If you ever make a mess,
I'll do anything for you

I have called you preacher;
I have called you son.
If you have a father or if you haven't one,
I'll do anything for you.
I did everything for you."

- For the Widows in Paradise, for the Fatherless in Ypsilanti

How to celebrate our world

I don't like 'Christian music.'

I put it in quotations because I don't think there is a such thing as Christian music. A lot of people call certain stuff 'Christian music,' but I don't think there is any kind of music that has a special claim to being Christian. Sure, some artists give a shout-out to God a little more directly than others, but that doesn't mean it's any more Christian than other stuff. It just means they're trying to tap into an existing wealth of 'good' Christians who listen to 'good' music, and by doing so relegate themselves to specific record store sections and radio stations.

But the music we have defined as 'Christian,' to me, too often forgets that you don't have to just regurgitate worship songs to really celebrate God, and you don't have to beat a dead horse by making it all sound the same. We don't need every song to be, 'God is great, God is good.'

Sometimes we can celebrate God simply by suggesting their is hope in this beautiful world, and by crafting beautiful, unique music to support that message. And that's why I love 'secular music.' I find that 'secular music' often celebrates life more than 'Christian music' by creating songs that remind you how wonderful God's creation is.

Mind you, I don't think it's wrong to listen to 'Christian music.' And I don't believe that all 'secular music' is good. I just find that I can worship God more through 'secular' music than I can through 'Christian.' And I think that Christians too often believe that 'secular music' is from the devil, or that the only music that is worthy is the stuff they've been told is 'Christian.'

So, that being said, here are some of my favorite 'secular' records that offer a message of hope - records through which I find myself connecting with God more than I ever could through any 'Christian' record:

- Michigan by Sufjan Stevens
- Seven Swans by Sufjan Stevens
- Cease to Begin by Band of Horses
- Joshua Tree by U2
- Emotionalism by The Avett Brothers
- Legend by Bob Marley
- A Rush of Blood to the Head by Coldplay

There are more that belong on this list, but for now, this is what I've come up with. These albums are full of hope but also love, beauty, justice, glory, and redemption, and celebrate God even if they don't always credit him directly.

I'll dwell on this topic more in the near future, because I know there is a lot that I'm missing. These are just my thoughts right now. I want to close, though, with the lyrics of a song by Sufjan Stevens. Stevens is, as many folks know, my favorite artist, because he creates songs that are immense and powerful even when they are gentle and vulnerable. He uses entire orchestras of instruments to celebrate life, but his music does not blatantly say, "Hey God, you rock." Rather, Stevens explores the beauties of life through mostly ambiguous messages, because he is trying his best to explain God's glory in the most humanly way possible.

"I'd swim across lake Michigan
I'd sell my shoes
I'd give my body to be back again
In the rest of the room

To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you

You gave your body to the lonely
They took your clothes
You gave up a wife and a family
You gave your goals

To be alone with me
To be alone with me
To be alone with me
You went up on a tree

To be alone with me you went up on the tree

I'll never know the man who loved me."

- To Be Alone With You

Lollapalooza Part 3 (and final reflections)

Sunday
Sunday was much more chill than Friday and Saturday, as Ben and the gang had gone home and I was left to wander alone among the festival's final acts. I really only had two bands that I cared to see that day - Iron & Wine and Flogging Molly - and was planning to go home before the final headlining acts, Kanye West and Nine Inch Nails, took the stage.

So I took the train in (God bless the weekend passes that let you ride an unlimited amount for $5) and made it to Grant Park just before Iron & Wine took the stage.

Iron & Wine - I&W is a moniker for songwriter Sam Beam, a small man with a lumberjack (or Viking?) beard whose recordings gained popularity because of their uber-hushed, gentle tones (rumor is he recorded his early stuff in a room next to that of his sleeping child, thus the hushed-ness.) Beam's last record, 'The Shepard Dog,' was a change of pace from his previous work, employing more percussion and instrumentation that gave it almost a Mediterranean feel, a move that was neither selling out nor overachieving - it was just good. And proof that the man is one of the best modern songwriters. His live show, I found, must be a change of pace from what he used to do as well: his set at Lollapalooza, as best I can describe it, was jam-band-ish. Which isn't a bad thing, but it also wasn't the greatest. I realize it was Lollapalooza, and a festival of that caliber requires something with a little more pep than your recorded material, but I found that I got kind of bored with the set from time to time (of course maybe I was just distracted by the annoying stoned dude next to me who kept writhing around in some sort of way that I'm sure he considered dancing.) Either way, I was glad to see it, and in all honesty, was impressed that Beam had more tricks up his sleeve than what his early material may have implied. Can't wait to see what he does with it next.

Thankfully, Flogging Molly was playing on the stage closest to Iron & Wine, and right after them (literally right after the last note of Beam's set, Flogging Molly took the stage and kicked off their set) so I didn't have to go far to catch my next desired show.

Flogging Molly - Ah, Flogging Molly - proof that sometimes music is meant to be nothing more than just a ton of fun. These dudes - nay, in the Irish spirit, these bastards - throw one heck of an Irish rock (or Celtic Punk, as it's been called) jamboree, and I was happy to be a part of it. They ripped through a set of fast-paced, fiddle-and-accordion-and-banjo-laced rock tunes, with lead singer Dave King expertly handling the crowd between songs. The crowd was digging it, as I could especially tell following the show, as fans departed literally drenched in sweat. Honestly, I probably would have enjoyed it more if I'd had friends their to dance with (and if I'd put a few back before the show) but I still had a blast, and will happily see them again next time they swing through Ohio. As for their recorded material, I strongly recommend it for those times that you just want to celebrate life, dance, and pump your fist in the air.

After the masses scattered following Flogging Molly's rollicking set, I made my way over to the stage for Girl Talk, a DJ who is huge on the indie circuit and who specializes in mashing up hundreds of popular songs into dance tunes. When I got to the stage, however, I realized it was surrounded by maybe 10,000 ecstatic fans (the stage was set up in an area for maybe half that) so I didn't stick around for long. I heard people danced around stage and had fun though. Oh well.
So I walked back over to the stage Flogging Molly had played on and waited for the next band, The National, to start. The National is a group out of Cincinnati who had their 15 minutes of fame, receiving rave reviews for their album 'The Boxer,' which really is quite good, if you're into that piano-driven alt-rock kind of thing.

The National - Another set that just didn't translate well from record to Lollapalooza stage; these guys are good at what they do, but I got really bored. Maybe it was because I was exhausted from the three-day weekend. I don't know. Either way I just lost interest. They're a great band, but I need a little energy to keep my attention; I need a little something different than what I'm expecting.

And that brings me to my final reflections on my Lollapalooza weekend. Basically, my ticket was paid off from seeing Radiohead and Rage Against the Machine alone. Like I said before, that crossed two bands off of my 'see-before-I-die' list, leaving only U2 left (though I'm sure I'll add more; for instance, I know I have to see Sufjan Stevens live someday.) So I don't regret spending $200 for the weekend, not in the least (though my bank account is aching right now; darn you Perry Ferrell for charging so much!) But I couldn't help but think about Athens as I went from stage to stage last weekend.

You see, I saw a lot of great bands at Lollapalooza, sure, but I guess I found myself expecting to be more impressed by the bands I was excited to see. It wasn't the bands' faults, though; rather, I think it was the fact that I was seeing the bands with 75,000 other people, most of whom were drunk or stoned. It was the fact that the shows weren't personal in the least because every single one of them was crowded by thousands upon thousands of folks, many of whom were there for other bands (or to just get stoned in public without getting in trouble for it.)

For me, a concert is an experience. It's about connecting with the band and all of the other people surrounding you, who are witnessing what you're witnessing. It's about an energy, be it a adrenaline-fueled one or a toned-down emotional one. It's about the setting - the way you feel crowded in with the sound and surrounded by it. And honestly, I just couldn't really get those feelings at Lollapalooza. It had it's moments, but I just couldn't connect with the bands in the setting I was in. I couldn't feel that energy that I love to feel at shows. Like I said in this post and others, I really did enjoy a lot bands. But I would have rather seen them all play in a bar.

Which brings me to my point on Athens. Lollapalooza reminded me how truly great the Athens scene is, and how much more appreciation it deserves. Great bands play at several bars every weekend. They cost a couple bucks to attend, and you crowd into a small venue with other people who came to catch a good show. Not all of the bands are great, but you usually can find an energy to feed off of, be it from the band or the crowd. Every show you go to is an event, not just a performance. And that's where Lollapalooza lacked.

Plus, in Athens, you don't have to run 2 miles to try to catch another band. Everything is right there for you.

Ultimately, as I said, I don't regret going to Lollapalooza. But it has helped me appreciate how lucky I am to have Athens. It's a mini-Lollapalooza in my own backyard, only for way cheaper.

May I take advantage of it all the more this year.

Lollapalooza Part 2

Saturday (remember that bit about almost not surviving? Yeah...)
Following the crazy bliss of Friday night's Radiohead show (and the 2 a.m. arrival back at my place, having missed the proper train back) my friends and I slept in Saturday. Ben and I were to be the only ones heading back that day - a ticket mix-up left me with both a three-day pass and a Saturday pass, so I gave him the Saturday pass - and we decided to head downtown later in the day, meet up with some other friends, and tour the city a bit.

Ben and I eventually made our way into Lollapalooza on Saturday around 4:30 in the afternoon. We were both pumped - Rage Against the Machine was scheduled to hit the stage at 8:30 that night, and we were both anxious to experience that show (because we're huge fans and because we didn't know what to expect, considering they are a bit, well, heavy.)

The afternoon and evening preceding RATM was a blast (and again, these are not my pictures, just some I borrowed from Lollapalooza reviews on the web.)

Explosions in the Sky - The first band we saw Saturday. These atmospheric prog-rockers are one of my favorite bands; their instrumental tunes are absolutely beautiful, ranging from gentle melodies to heavy riffs. When I think of the term 'soundtrack to my life' literally, these guys come up - their songs often seem to be the perfect musical accompaniment to life's simple moments (and of course, they actually have done a soundtrack, the gorgeous one for 'Friday Night Lights.') Their live show translates their sounds well, which means a lot of head-bobbing and swaying - then the occasional head-bang when they burst into a heavy jam. The great thing about this band, I believe, is that they are universal; they're simple yet complex, and their music can impact literally anybody.

Following Explosions in the Sky, Ben and I sprinted to the other end of the park (maybe 2 miles?) to try to catch Brand New, but apparently they had wrapped their set 20 minutes early. So we ended up trekking back to the North end to catch Okkervil River.

Okkervil River - I really don't have a ton to say about these guys. I have some of their material, and I'm guessing I'd like it better if I gave it more attention, because they're what I would describe as literature-indie-folk-rock. They're live show was good, but nothing ground-breaking. I bet if I saw them in a bar they would really rock.

Battles - We hauled it back to the other side after Okkervil River to catch Battles, a band that many describe as 'math-rock.' I guess that's pretty appropriate; they combine complex rhythms and synthetic beats to create a sort of rock-techno amalgamation. I got their record last year when it came out because critics went gaga over them - and it's pretty good stuff. Some more stuff to bob your head to. These dudes are some kind of talented though. Those rhythms and beats are way over my head.


Following Battles, the only other act Ben and I really cared to see was Rage Against the Machine. So we wandered around during sets by rapper Lupe Fiasco and old Texan rockers The Toadies. We wanted prime position for RATM - somewhere close to the exit so we could make it to our train, away from the mosh pits, but still fairly close - so we about an hour before the set we hit up the porta-potties in preparation for the show. And we waited. And we waited. Ever waited 20 minutes in line to pee? I have now. It ain't fun.
After we relieved ourselves, we managed to get the perfect spot for Rage: about 100 yards from the stage, stage right, away from the mosh pits, with a decent view if we stood on our tip-toes. The people around us seemed chill, too, which is a huge factor for me at a concert, so my neighbors won't distract me.
I should preface with my relationship with Rage Against the Machine, the rap-rock foursome who ruled politico-airwaves in the 90s before breaking up in 2000 (seriously, if only they had been a band for the Bush administration...bad timing I guess.) I had heard their stuff and knew what they were all about back in high school (I even wrote a paper about them in 9th grade), but didn't really ever get into them. Then I started listening to their song 'Guerilla Radio' for whatever reason, and it became my 'pump-up song.' As in, play it and I go wild, adrenaline pumping, air-guitar in full glory. My friends all know this; sometimes they play it just to mess with me. Anyway, I started getting more of their stuff, and they became my go-to band when I really needed some energy. Plus, because of their crazy-awesome ways, I declared them a 'must-see' live band.
And I got to see them!

Rage Against the Machine: The show started with the wail of a siren, which relayed into their bombastic opener 'Testify.' As soon as that electric guitar kicked in (guitarist Tom Morello is quite literally one of the best at what he does) the crowd went nuts, jumping up and down and shouting. I expected it; like I said, they're really heavy, and fans have been waiting years to see them play live again (they're on a reunion tour.) Since folks around me were pretty chill, I didn't realize just how crazy the crowd really got, but at the end of the second song, singer Zach de la Rocha cut it short, and pleaded with fans to step back because people up front were literally getting crushed. This was the first of three times he made the plea; apparently it was some pretty serious stuff down front. Throughout the show streams of people were passing us as they made their way towards the back, and it was kind of creepy to look at them - a distant look in their eyes suggested it was truly wild up front (or they just had a concussion.)
Funny thing is, as the show went on, Ben and I were probably going the craziest amongst the people around us (given the circle they formed around us). Like I said, RATM pump me up, so I my adrenaline was really kicking (especially during 'Guerilla Radio.')
Rage's set was awesome, and considering I was in the comfort of a fairly laid-back section of the crowd, I was able to appreciate just how rocking it was to be there. But alas, Ben and I had a train to catch, so we decided to leave a little early.
Problem was, when we left just so happened to be the end of Rage's regular set. So thousands of other fans decided to leave too. And when we reached the exit, we discovered that hundreds of people were blocking it. So push came to shove.
Remember the bit about not knowing if I was going to survive? This is where that came into play; it wasn't from some dangerous mosh pit. It was from exiting the show. Basically, you had thousands of people pushing on one side, and hundreds - maybe thousands - pushing back on the other, waiting for the encore. And what's worse, we were going up steps. And Ben and I were in the middle. I kid you not when I say I wondered if I would make it out alive. I was crushed between people, couldn't budge. I felt claustrophobic. And I kept wondering what would happen if this mass became panicked.
In the end, my side pushed harder. Ben and I came out the other end alive, and as soon as we tasted free air, we bolted, hardly stopping before we reached the train station (on time, I might add.)
So the show was a crazy experience. And I had a scary moment, but when I read the news reports the next day, maybe not as scary as others had. The dangerous Lollapalooza crowd at the Rage show made national headlines, with many reports of people going to the hospital, as well as reports of boneheaded fans making the show a hostile environment. Even the bottleneck I got caught up in is in some of the reports. Click here to get a report and pictures of the insanity.

Overall, my experience at the Rage Against the Machine Lollapalooza performance was exhilarating, and the scariness of the end didn't ruin it at all - just gave me an interesting story I survived to tell my kids some day.

Also, here is some video of the night. The first is of the beginning of the show, the second an idea of what the streets of Chicago became after each night (this particular night being after the Rage show.)

Lollapalooza Part 1

So I survived Lollapalooza 2008. Act surprised, go ahead - there was a time when I didn't think that first sentence would be true. It's a long story. So I'll tell it.

A blow-by-blow of my three-day weekend in Grant Park, Chicago (in three parts to break it up a little; and these aren't my pictures, just ones I stole off the internet - wasn't willing to bring my camera with me):

Friday
I ditched work early in the afternoon so I could start my Lollapalooza weekend early. Upon meeting some friends back at my place, the four of us took a train into the city and hauled it over to Grant Park, about 10 blocks east of the train station. We passed through the front (and only) Lollapalooza gate around 5:30, joining roughly 75,000 other people at the glorified county fair (call me a cynic but the only thing separating Lollapalooza from the Athens County Fair is the band lineup...haha ok, couldn't say that with a straight face. And I guess it was a lot more than a glorified county fair. But you get the idea.) We shuffled through the masses to the north end of the park to catch a few bands before Radiohead went on at 8.

Cat Power: I'm not a huge fan of Chan Marshall aka Cat Power, but I've been known to listen to her stuff from time to time, and I bought her CD for my Mom for her birthday. It's alternative-indie-soul, and in the right mood is the right stuff. Lollapalooza is no place to set that right mood. We only caught about half of her set, but it was uninteresting, mostly because there were several thousand (drunken beligerent) people crowded around the stage waiting to be impressed. Cat Power gave her all, but there was nothing much more to it than what you could find on her CD.

The Raconteurs: Following Cat Power's set, we pushed through to get a good spot at a nearby stage for The Raconteurs, Jack White's band that isn't the White Stripes. I have their two CDs, and listen to them from time to time (another mood thing; they're good for the energetic need-something-in-the-background mood) so I was excited to see them play. They didn't disappoint; their set was energetic and rocking, mostly because Jack White is an absolute beast. We left early though, because Radiohead was playing at the exact opposite end of the park, about 2 miles away, and we wanted good positioning.

Giving ourselves a full hour before Radiohead took the stage, we abondoned The Raconteurs with 20 minutes left in their set, assuming we were ahead of the game by heading to the other stage early. Well, we weren't alone. As we left, the mass exodus had already begun. Everybody wanted a prime position for Radiohead.
The stage Radiohead was playing on was at the head of Hutchinson Field, which is a huge lawn filled with baseball diamonds, surrounded on each side by a small mound. As soon as we crested that mound, I was astonished; people everywhere. Literally a sea of people.
Lucky for us, the sea of people didn't stop us from getting close to the stage. By rounding the outside of the crowd and sticking with an off-center position, we managed to get within about 50 yards or so of the stage. I was pumped.

Radiohead: If you've ever asked me who my favorite band is, my answer was probably Radiohead. My history with them started begrudgingly; I used to hate them in high school, but upon reading so much great acclaim about them, I decided I should give them a shot, buying OK Computer and Kid A. I figured I'd force myself to like them. In the end I didn't need to force it; they quickly became my favorite. If you've never listened to them, do so. Anyway, the show was incredible, despite my being pressed tightly against the sweaty bodies of strangers, loud talking from uninterested fans, and the constant waft of weed smoke. I wasn't about to let any of that bother my witnessing one of the greatest bands ever.
The band ended up playing, I think, 24 songs, one regular set and two encores. The set featured material from nearly all of their albums, and included some of my favorite songs: 'Idioteque,' 'Fake Plastic Trees,' and 'Paranoid Android.' A six-by-two grid of screens displaying the band flanked the stage, and long pillars of light hung from the stage roof. Thom Yorke wailed in all his glory, Johnny Greenwood bobbed his head toward the floor the entire time, and the rest of the band played accordingly. It was beautiful. Fireworks even erupted during 'Fake Plastic Trees,' a novelty that I thought would ruin the song, but which was surprisingly fitting in the end. A wonderful concert experience (though next time, I'll hope to see them play a smaller venue.)

The rest of Friday didn't go as well. Because we filtered out with 75,000 other people, we missed our train, and had to spend 2 hours exhausted in Union Station waiting for the next. But the day was well worth it, and the ticket price ($200 for a weekend pass!) was pretty much paid off in my eyes. But there was much more to come! More on that (and pictures, not that I took, but some to give you an idea) in another post...

Headed to the 'Palooza

I once established that there are three acts I want to see perform live before I die: U2, Radiohead, and Rage Against the Machine. This weekend I'm going to knock out the latter two at Lollapalooza, held at Grant Park downtown.

If you know me well then you know I tend to clam up around big crowds. This weekend I'll be shoving in with 75,000 other people who have come from across the country. So it should be a good time.

I'll have more to report on Monday I'm sure. For now, I have to devise a way to leave work early. I can't believe I'll be watching Radiohead live tonight...