In October of 2007 I scored front-row seats for me and Katie to see Andrew Bird perform at Stuart's Opera House in Nelsonville, Ohio. To this day, I cite it as one of the greatest performances I have ever been witness to, and Katie and I generally reference it as one of our favorite early memories together.
I acknowledged in my Athens Insider review of the show that it seemed as if an entire orchestra were performed by one man; Bird uses looping pedals and his violin to quite literally create the sound of a symphony. The absolutely immense musical power that he projected from the stage was hair-raising, goosebump-inducing, stunning.
The first thing I will say is that I'm incredibly lucky. I know this. I have a job, an apartment, a loving family, and a beautiful fiance. For these things I am very grateful.
So to complain of being alone seems selfish. To say that I'm bored a lot, that I wish I were closer to friends, it just seems mean. I know that a lot of people would trade me spots. Two months ago this was the kind of spot I was dying to be in.
Don't get me wrong. It's the spot that I should be in... the spot I need to be in. And the spot that one day I'll look back and recognize was the most important spot I could've been in.
But still I can't help but feel alone. My friends and family are several hours away. The one person who makes every situation in my life better, no matter the bleakness, will be away from me for several months. So for now, I'm left to be alone.
Of course, I'm not alone. And it's remembering this fact that keeps me hopeful, keeps me happy, keeps me company. Soon enough, I'll truly be in the company of friends, of community, of a home. But for now, I have the company I need.
I find that the mornings are the most difficult to feel this company. It's when I wake up that the loneliness of every day hits the hardest; that moment when I realize that the day ahead of me contains more or less exactly what the day before contained, and what the day after that will contain as well. It is that split second when I open my eyes and turn off my alarm that I most strongly feel the empty hole within that longs for the presence of friends and of family.
But that moment always passes. And for that, too, I am very grateful.
I found a beautiful song today that goes a long way towards fixing that lonely moment I can't help but feel when I wake up in the morning. It's called "Goodmorning" by William Fitzsimmons; read the lyrics, listen to the song, discover the hope that we are meant to feel at the beginning of every day.
Moonlight will fall Winter will end Harvest will come Your heart will mend Good morning Good morning You will find love Good morning You will find love You will find love Good morning Good morning
So here I am, in my roughly 6-foot-by-10-foot, no-windowed office, wrapping up my first feature for the magazine in anxious anticipation of the afternoon, when I head home for the first time since moving to Durham. I've got The Low Anthem's album Oh My God Charlie Darwin streaming in the background, my first listen of an album I can tell I'm going to like a lot.
And wouldn't you know it, this song comes on. I got goosebumps.
(Didn't have much to go with in terms of picture, so this will do.)
Graduation. Job offer. Moving. Engagement. My last month has been, well, insane. Between my last post and now, nearly everything in life has changed. And, thanks to the "timeliness" of Time Warner, I finally have cable/internet in my apartment, which means I can once again post to my blog.
I don't have much to say here now. There are many things to say, sure... like how I accepted the position of Associate Editor at QSR magazine, graduated from Ohio University with a degree in magazine journalism, moved to Durham, North Carolina, and proposed to my girlfriend of two years, Katie (she said yes). But those are not things I put here on this blog (at least, not all at once).
So instead, I'll tell you what music has sountracked this entire last month; the best albums and songs that have quite literally been all that I've listened to during this transition:
Best Albums
Grizzly Bear, Veckatimest - Forget Animal Collective; at the end of the year, this will be the album standing as the greatest of 2009. You can hold me to it, trust me; this is a gorgeous masterpiece, one that finds the Brooklyn acoustic mopers turn to a poppier, more "accessible" brand. And it's stunning.
White Rabbits, It's Frightening - Didn't know much about this band when I picked up their latest LP, but opening track "Percussion Gun" immediately hooked me. Maybe I'm biased, but the way these guys lace their indie/garage rock with almost tribal drums really stirs me in way I'm not often stirred (hmm... probably weird imagery).
Phoenix, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix - Another pick-up on a whim, this electro-pop French rock is catchy and fun to blare on a sunny North Carolina day (lucky for me, that's pretty much been my last three weeks).
Dirty Projectors, Bitte Orca - The only way I know how to explain them is to say that they would be the love child of Vampire Weekend and the Talking Heads.
Passion Pit, Manners - Yeah, I've discussed them already, but so what? Maybe by mentioning them again you can get it through your head - THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST RECORDS OF THE YEAR. Okay, maybe that didn't need all-caps, but I want to drive home the point so you go get it. Trust me.
Best Songs
"Ready, Able" by Grizzly Bear - I'll start by saying that my favorite song off of Veckatimest changes pretty much every day, but for now, I'll stick with "Ready, Able" (with "Two Weeks" a close second and "I Live With You" bringing in the bronze). These guys just found a way to create awesome melodies in every single one of their new songs, and every time I listen to the record, I'm floored.
"Percussion Gun" by White Rabbits - Being a drummer and all, I find this song to be an adrenaline-fueled fist-pumper that demands playing at the beginning of nearly every car trip I take nowadays. Didn't know anything about these guys when I got the new record, and this, track one, sold me instantly. I replayed it about ten times the first day I had it.
"Lisztomania" by Phoenix - Pretty fun electro-pop song from these French dudes, and, I imagine, a lot of fun to dance to (my dancing consists of shuffling about in the driver's seat of my car, and still, this song gets the job done).
"Let Your Love Grow Tall" by Passion Pit - My favorite song off of Manners is still "Little Secrets" (in fact, not 30 minutes ago I officially anointed it my newest ring tone), but I'll give a shout-out to this track as well. I don't quite know how to explain it - it's catchy, it's anthemic, it's dark, it's dancy... it's got a little bit of everything. All I know is when it goes into the musical breakdown before the chorus, I tend to start driving just a little bit faster.
